Taking the Time to Listen: A Look at Mental Health

Driving home from work tonight, there was much talk on the radio about mental health and it made me think.

Just recently, a young adult whom I coached a long time ago reached out to me for personal help —I did, and I continue to do so. This caused me to reflect on my best friend living in Pointe-Claire, whom I lost 10 years ago, who succumbed to his addictions that were rooted in mental health issues. This led me to delve deeper into recollections of the years in my youth when the “S” word was a daily thought.

I reached out to a close friend, psychologist Dr. Norman Shields, a Pointe-Claire citizen, Pointe-Claire Oldtimers (PCOT) member, and valued member of our community, for his thoughts on today’s perspective on mental health.

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When I consider the current state of mental health in our society, specifically in our community, I am hopeful. As I reflect on my past 25 years of practice as a clinical psychologist, I see the enormous strides we have all taken to improve access and acceptability of seeking help for mental health concerns.

When I hit the pavement as a health professional in the year 2000, I started practising in the field of addiction and mental health. I saw first-hand the devastating impact of numerous mental health conditions on people’s personal and professional lives. If left untreated or unsupported, people with mental health concerns risk losing relationships, economic opportunity, health, and, in the direst of instances – hope. What was evident 25 years ago was the abundance of shame and reluctance that people had in acknowledging their struggle and asking for help when needed.  Also referred to as “stigma,” this has been and remains in some communities the largest barrier to people receiving care.

Although I have been impressed by and continue to actively participate in the development of evidence-based medicine to help people recover from various mental health concerns, I have been more impressed in the past quarter century with the shift in community attitudes towards supporting mental health. When I think of the phrase “It takes a village…,” this shift has been championed by individual testimonials such as by Olympian Clara Hughes, government efforts and publications such as "Out of the Shadows at Last," a report by Senators Michael J.L. Kirby and Wilbert Joseph Keon, and private industry juggernauts such as Bell Canada. 

This has been no small feat and is essentially what I consider to be the most influential element in recovery, specifically the perception that others care about us when we are in need. Although evidence-based treatments are a key element in helping people recover, these are often eclipsed by the amount of impact that perceived social support has on mental health concerns and recovery outcomes. Perceived social support remains a large predictor in this domain and I can’t help but feel hopeful when I see initiatives, both population- and individually-oriented, that share in the common refrain – Let’s talk. That simple phrase signals to those in need that others are ready, able, and willing to talk. I would suggest, however, that the single most effective part of that gesture is the ability to effectively listen.

Why listen? Because it’s the act of giving someone your undivided attention, emphasizing that what they are saying is important to you and needs to be heard. Listening without judgement, fostering that acceptance that anything can be said.  Letting them know that they have choices and that they are capable of bringing about change in their lives. When we pair that with a genuine compassion, that is, investing in their well-being, we have essentially fostered fertile ground for the perception of social support. In my estimation, restoring hope. 

I am so glad that my friend, Eric, reached out to me to share on this topic. I am inspired by his willingness to step up and listen. I consider Eric, my PCOT members, and Pointe-Claire citizens as my community, and I fully appreciate the support they provide.